OK, finally having a few minutes to get back to my thoughts! I wanted to share that I am in a similar place to you with the training. I have also experienced being a higher LBM female with about 16 years of consistent regular weight training (plus several years of inconsistent training) and found that I prefer a leaner look on me. Gaining bloat and BF gives me a thicker look that I dislike on me.
I stopped training legs heavy earlier in the year and have dropped all kinds of lunges and I rarely do squats, step ups, or regular dead-lifts. I’ve been doing less arms lately and going lighter but more often in general with my Venus workouts. I think maintaining muscle and maintaining decent leanness while eating as much as I can, RTD-style, is working OK at this point for me. There is still a balancing of eating enough but not too much, but that tension will always be there from now on, and my weight loss will always fluctuate a bit depending on what is happening in my life at the time.
I’ve come to accept that as I know you have, but I still work to fight the “I feel fat” days even as they become fewer and I feel more accepting of my weight and measurement range. I prefer my look at the low end of my range, but I can’t live there constantly. So be it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about LBM/fat pounds vs body fat percentage according to Venus Factor in advance of my upcoming DEXA, and at this point, I am not convinced that my body “knows” what my BF percentage is but I think it probably can tell when I have too few pounds of fat sitting around and fewer free fatty acids available when it needs them, and that is when it starts nagging me to eat a bit more.
I am currently thinking that as long as us higher LBM women don’t experience any obvious ill effects or medical issues from maintaining a leaner BF percentage wise than taller and/or lower LBM women, then a lower % BF state is probably OK for us. I am not sure if the “lower-fat” state we are in is any different than a woman with less LBM maintaining a bit higher BF percentage. I highly doubt there are any studies about any of this, so all I have to go on is my own experience and that of other on the Venus review like Kimberley who maintain a similar number of pounds of BF with lower LBM due to body shape size and training history differences.